It Can't Happen Here

He most noticed a number of stray imitation soldiers, without side-arms or rifles, but in a uniform like that of an American cavalryman in 1870: slant-topped blue forage caps, dark blue tunics, light blue trousers, with yellow stripes at the seam, tucked into leggings of black rubberoid for what appeared to be the privates, and boots of sleek black leather for officers. Each of them had on the right side of his collar the letters "M.M." and on the left, a five-pointed star. There were so many of them; they swaggered so brazenly, shouldering civilians out of the way; and upon insignificances like Doremus they looked with frigid insolence.

He suddenly understood.

These young condottieri were the "Minute Men": the private troops of Berzelius Windrip, about which Doremus had been publishing uneasy news reports. He was thrilled and a little dismayed to see them now--the printed words made brutal flesh.

-Sinclair Lewis, It Can't Happen Here

Going out of my way to speak for all of us, I really hope I don't start seeing these jackets around. I've been thinking about getting one myself, just in case.

I had a hearty laugh with the reason.com folks yet again this week, as Mr. Moynihan cited a Whoopi Goldberg quote, framed in the below quotes. My economics-inclined friends (the majority of them, sadly) will find this hilarious on double front:

...Take this brilliant assessment from Whoopi Goldberg, star of Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit: "I find it extraordinary as I listen to folks talk about the free-market system that they don't recognize that the free-market system is truly broken and beyond repair so that we have to start all over again."

Lest you dismiss such prescriptions as the mad rantings of America's worst ex-center square, Goldberg explains that she came to Keynesianism only after a friend told her of the financial crisis's rotten, free market roots. "It was explained to me; I don't think I could explain it to you righteously (sic), but it made sense when I heard the explanation. Basically, the bank is sitting because they're not below what their paperwork should say and they're not above what their paperwork should say - they're right at their paperwork mark and they don't want to move from that."

And the number-one comment,

The Extispicator | January 20, 2009, 2:31pm | #

I dunno, I usually trust whatever someone named Goldberg has to say about banking.

some re-posts

Stale within the day to some of you, but worth being printed here.

Joshua Holmes <http://www.no-treason.com> | January 17, 2009, 6:27pm

A young boy clutching a paper bag sat next to a middle-aged man on a park bench. The boy opened up the bag and pulled out a candy bar. He ate it, savoring every bite. The middle-aged man let a smile creep across his face.

After finishing, the boy reached into the bag and pulled out a second candy bar. A look of consternation crossed the man's face. To his astonishment, the boy ate a second candy bar. Then a third. A fourth. A fifth.

Finally, the boy pulled out a sixth candy bar, and the man couldn't bear it any longer. "Son," he said, "I don't think eating six candy bars is good for your health."

"My great-granddad lived to a hundred and six," the boy replied.

A smirk covered the man's face. "And did he eat six candy bars one after another?"

"I don't know," said the boy, "but I do know he minded his own fucking business."

and, something I wish I'd written...

Old Timey Bureaucrat Porn | January 17, 2009, 1:29pm | #

Secretary Scroot peered through his eyeglasses at the naked, quivering figure of the American economy.

"Stimulate me," whispered the economy, "I need to be stimulated *so much*"

"I'll stimulate you, all right," said the lascivious Scroot. "You aren't the only one whose pump needs priming."

"I can give you four million jobs," purred the economy. "And I bet you can guess what kind of jobs I'm talking about."

Scroot pressed the intercom button with his left hand while, with his trembling, arthritic right hand he unbuttoned his jacket and pants.

"Cancel my appointments," Scroot gasped into the intercom. "If the President calls tell him I'm working on the economy."

from the goyim

Zion Elders? Not in my State, or, Two Jews in the Senate is Worth One in the Oven
St Jewish Park, Minnesota

















Two New York Heebs, still today engaged in a tense, ongoing battle for a Senate seat to represent the Nordic hinterlands of Minnesota, made appearances at a Jewish Community Center in St Louis Park to stand united in their support for Israel.

Nobody was surprised, except for the Arabic equivalents of colonial-era Native Americans, getting the bajeezus blown out of them in the Gaza Strip by Israel-operated US-purchased rockets.



bonus round: leave your photo captions in the Comments.

MacHairy bought one of these a while back, and Reason.com recently directed me to a series of hilarious reviews of the product. They are worth the time to take in reading if you can read. I've copypasta'd the best one for your convenience.

This item is very useful for protection against copying, deletion or destruction of secure or personal data on a laptop when traveling to the U.S. or any other communist country.

To do so place said item together with a set of Mirror-aculous Magical Mirror DecodersBeaver Finger Puppet in a JanSport 22" Wheeled Red Carry-On.

When arriving at the actual security checkpoint, you should be dressed in a Buffy The Vampire Slayer Hot Red Leather Pants, BB Dakota Yellow Jacket, Adult Red And White Striped Pirate Shirt draped with a Port Authority Signature Light Blue SweaterAfro WIG, Black.

Before passing through the checkpoint place the beaver behind the checkpoint across from where you will enter. Approach the checkpoint and place the laptop on the x-ray scanner first, laptop data protection device second, and Mirror-aculous Magical Mirror Decoders third on the belt (NB, the order is very important). At the moment you pass the machine and the alarm flashes for no apparent reason, call out "Look, a beaver" and proceed to pass through the checkpoint. The diversion will divert the officers attention long enough to break their intense concentration which gives your laptop the opportunity to pass unnoticed. The highly trained personnel will catch this security breach nonetheless, however when they turn their attention back to the x-ray screen the Mirror-aculous Pack It! Magical Mirror Decoders will reflect an image of the Playmobil Security Check Point, which will create a sensation of déjà vu which in turn confuses the officers into thinking the check was already performed, therefore neglecting the actual check.

For optimal performance a checkpoint should be located with a latino officer to the left and hooded albino officer to the right of the checkpoint.

By swipe_again